[ She was going to pick on his beard some more, maybeyank on it, but then she kissed him instead. Less teeth clacking awful than the last time, but still not the softest gesture to ever be exchanged, her hand sliding up his cheek against the grain of his scruff.
She also backs off quickly, going right back to her former tone, pointing at him in a wild, angry, accusatory gesture, ]
Shut up! Your beard is the worst! You are the worst!
[ But she's just squawking desperately now, heart beating too fast and face hot. ]
[By the Six, being next to Annie like this is just a whirlwind of emotion that he can't navigate out of. It's embarrassing and makes his skin feel hot and angry and self-conscious and everything else, and when she kisses him, lips pressed aggressively against his own, he simultaneously leans into it and frowns against it.
And then when she pulls away, they're back to squabbling.]
If you think I'm so terrible then stop kissing me! You make absolutely zero sense, Annie.
[Take a step back, and this might seem like some terrible kind of romcom, with just how easily Noctis vacillates between annoyance and confusion. But he doesn't have the luxury of that disconnect. He only looks at her, and sees someone equal parts frustrating and important to him.
He's caught between rolling his eyes, or being embarrassed all over again. Instead, he just shifts his weight to another foot, and just lets a single word roll off of his tongue.]
[ Why? That's his question? Why can't he just say no like a person with sense, holy shit why is he doing this to her. She scrunches her eyes shut, the heels of her hands jammed into her eye sockets. ]
Shut up. [ How many more times can she possibly say that. ] You're the best person I have ever met in my entire stupid life.
[It seems like the only question worth asking, honestly. Why him? He did nothing special, nothing that he wouldn't have done for anyone else that was important to him. He's not a better broodmate than Nyx, he thinks, no more capable than him. Unable to provide in certain ways, even, that the Glaive can.]
Annie...
[What on Eos does he say to that? That's not a complaint, surely not. Yet he feels an odd inclination to explain himself, as if it were something that needed explaining.]
I'm just... I want to make sure you're happy. I don't know if that really qualifies me as the "best" person.
[ She makes a strangled angry noise at him, wondering he can downplay an emotion that has been ruling her life since all the way back on Shril. Her world revolves around him. His smile, his safety, his happiness, his future. When did she get like this. Hadn't he just annoyed her to no end when they'd woken up?
He'd also taken her explosions of alien otherness with patience, learning how to soothe and stretch and accept her massivity instead of trying to shut the door. Has looked at her addiction and her misery and only ever wanted to lighten the load without blaming her for any of it even though she so deservedly blames herself.
He's continued to strive and fight despite his stupid princess destiny, and maybe she looks up to him for that. Finds it easier to not want to die when he's leading the way-- ]
There's nobody I love as much as you, you moron.
[ She's not even sure she's ever loved anyone at all. Therese had deserved it, but-- Annie had used her like a crutch. Then made excuses about it like she just hadn't realized. ]
But maybe it's just the stupid brain bug, huh.
[ And there's really nothing there except good telepathic vibrations. ]
[He looks at her unblinkingly for a moment, brows furrowed. This shouldn't be surprising to him; they've been so connected and intertwined that he feels all the she feels, that so often he lets everything that she is flow through him, and so a statement like There's nobody I love as much as you shouldn't be surprising to him. Old news, old hat. Nothing shocking or earth-shattering.
But saying it out loud is shining a beam of light, hot and white, on the notion of love. A word that means too many things to parse in just a single moment. He can't decide what this is: a confession or an irritated accusation. Noctis, awkward and a little unsocialized as he is, doesn't know what to do with this information.]
...Might've had something to do with it. But if you took it away, I don't think anything would change.
[Mentally, he reaches out with another question. He speaks it, too. He fidgets with the ring on his finger.]
C'mon, I give you a fucking out and that's what you say?
[ She's been trying, really, all this time to make an excuse for why he could just duck out of this entire conversation. And instead he tells her it wouldn't change anything, and just wants to know-- ]
I don't want to do anything. I just want to go fuck someone else and not give a shit. But then you do stupid shit like show up in my dreams just to find out what I've got going on inside, wearing your innocent little baby face and I--
[ Never want to be more than a couple inches away from him ever again. ]
I... [ Just want to see you smile like that all the time. ] Turn into a shrieking freaked out psychobitch. Obviously.
[There was never an out. Noctis cannot simply sweep this under the rug, even if the alternative is that he stands there, with everything that this is held in his arms, unsure what to do with it.]
I just...
[He never thought twice of wanting to help her and understand her. Of being an anchor to help her sleep and breathe and function. He was born to be a sacrifice to others, so it didn't matter much to him either way; but more than that, he cares and he worries and her love is his love all the same. He gives his everything and just hopes that it's enough.]
You're not a shrieking psychobitch. [Noctis steps forward, unwilling to let anything like blame or guilt manifest.] And I just want to help you if I can. The whole fishing thing, I... [Words are slipping away from him, as they always do when he needs them the most. It's frustrating and stupid.]
I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable? But I don't regret it. [Maybe he's missing the point? He's not even sure what argument he's trying to make. Only that her love is not something that he's pushing aside. He just needs time to figure out how to integrate it into himself, if it hasn't already.] I want to see that part of you.
[ Makin' people fall in love with you and shit, how absolutely indecent. But her grumbling is mild in real accusation. She's run out of protestation, the emotions building up under her skin finally spewed out. Messy, noisy, but ultimately released. She opens her mouth to say something, but then her eyes roll upwards, sighing, ]
I'm sorry for being a jerk, can we just kiss and make up now.
[ She feels like she should probably, at some point, do this with him as an actual participant of said kiss instead of just smashing on him out of total freaked out desperation. ]
[She's probably right. He probably has no real idea of what he's doing, but if there's a flicker of indignation in his mind, it's easily smothered by her offer of reconciliation.
Though of course, Noctis is suddenly self-conscious all over again.]
...And I'm sorry for calling you thirty. [Glancing to the side-] And what, you mean, like, literally?
[How silly to be embarrassed, when their faces were so smashed together just moments ago, and they've just had a roundabout conversation about love.]
[Of course he won't stop her when she reaches up to him. But Noctis is still glancing to the side, and now she's just going to make his face flush a little bit. If they're making a big deal about this, there's no way he's going to be anything other than a slightly stuttering, awkward baby king.]
I... uh, sure. I guess.
[He fidgets with his fingers again, not knowing what to do with his hands.]
[ She starts at the flush in his cheek, pecking irritating, mom-ish kisses over his stubble, just to be a pest. But she works her way to his mouth before he can actually protest about it, and touches down there softly.
She does not clearly remember the last time she tried to actually kiss someone. Not breathe into and taste during sex, not grab their dumb faces and smash herself on them out of terrified desperation to be anchored in a storm of unwieldy emotion. The novelty of it is slightly frightening but mostly titillating. Skin prickling, face warm. ]
[He is, in the way he feels flustered and won't quite look at her. At the way he's completely and utterly unsure how to react to those pecking touches at his jawline. But when her kiss finally meets him properly, he closes his eyes and lets her. His hands relax a bit, even if his shoulders do not.
It's an awkward return of a kiss (it's easier to make it feel more natural when he's irritated and acting on impulse), but it's a return nonetheless.]
[ She smiles meanly, her nose crinkling against his. He's not any good at it, but like most things about him, it is unfortunately part of his charm. She presses a little harder, inhaling. She's still not sure what the answer to his question is: what she really wants to do with what she feels, but this is a start. An understanding that she wants more than to just be a bro. How much more, she has no idea. She doesn't know what the options are and neither does he. She hates that. She loves him.
Her lips part for a moment, but she's made her point. ]
You shouldn't let me get away with whatever I want.
[He does what he can to return it, pressing back only slightly, still feeling as if he hands should be doing something even if they aren't. That understanding is there -- he'd have to be a fool to not realize it -- but he doesn't know the consequence of it just yet. Love exists, bright and blinding, and it's easy enough to bask in the periphery of its radiance without stepping into it fully. But as connected as they are, he knows that's almost impossible.
Still, he's overthinking; a pointless venture when no answers await him right now, and he sounds just a little breathless after she breaks the kiss.]
You... [Again, words just not coming to him as they should.] Like I could stop you.
[ She admires him for a moment, all his fluster. She knows. That he lost out on a lot of opportunity to know how to do this, not just the opportunity but the girl he might've been interested in doing it with. It holds Annie back sometimes now, not wanting to breathe too loudly past the cemetery. ]
(Ok?)
[ Or has she pushed him too much and now shit's just gonna be weird. ]
[Is it an awkwardness that'll linger? Likely not. He can't look at her without feeling fond, without feeling connected -- blame the symbiote, or take the symbiote away and this doesn't change. Either way, she remains important to him in ways that he can try to suss out later.
(If he thinks of Luna, it's a remembrance is one that would only prove to push him forward, not nip at his heels and chain him to the ground. Her presence is- was something gentle and encouraging, and her memory is no different. She would just smile at all of this, he's sure.)
A lazy shrug of his shoulders, looking directly at her this time.]
You've never done anything that I feel like I need to stop yet.
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somnifacient) wrote2017-03-25 01:39 am
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[ Squabbling for the sake of it. Someone, somewhere thinks they're both idiots. ]
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Yeah, right, I'm not letting you get anywhere close to me with a sharp object. You don't get to shave my beard. It's my beard.
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She also backs off quickly, going right back to her former tone, pointing at him in a wild, angry, accusatory gesture, ]
Shut up! Your beard is the worst! You are the worst!
[ But she's just squawking desperately now, heart beating too fast and face hot. ]
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And then when she pulls away, they're back to squabbling.]
If you think I'm so terrible then stop kissing me! You make absolutely zero sense, Annie.
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[ Breathless, like it's hard to even keep getting the words out. ]
I won't! It's fine!
[ Who'd want to kiss him anyway. Definitely not her. Definitely not. Definitely definitely definitely. ]
I want to.
[ A lot. ]
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[Take a step back, and this might seem like some terrible kind of romcom, with just how easily Noctis vacillates between annoyance and confusion. But he doesn't have the luxury of that disconnect. He only looks at her, and sees someone equal parts frustrating and important to him.
He's caught between rolling his eyes, or being embarrassed all over again. Instead, he just shifts his weight to another foot, and just lets a single word roll off of his tongue.]
Why?
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[ Why? That's his question? Why can't he just say no like a person with sense, holy shit why is he doing this to her. She scrunches her eyes shut, the heels of her hands jammed into her eye sockets. ]
Shut up. [ How many more times can she possibly say that. ] You're the best person I have ever met in my entire stupid life.
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Annie...
[What on Eos does he say to that? That's not a complaint, surely not. Yet he feels an odd inclination to explain himself, as if it were something that needed explaining.]
I'm just... I want to make sure you're happy. I don't know if that really qualifies me as the "best" person.
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He'd also taken her explosions of alien otherness with patience, learning how to soothe and stretch and accept her massivity instead of trying to shut the door. Has looked at her addiction and her misery and only ever wanted to lighten the load without blaming her for any of it even though she so deservedly blames herself.
He's continued to strive and fight despite his stupid princess destiny, and maybe she looks up to him for that. Finds it easier to not want to die when he's leading the way-- ]
There's nobody I love as much as you, you moron.
[ She's not even sure she's ever loved anyone at all. Therese had deserved it, but-- Annie had used her like a crutch. Then made excuses about it like she just hadn't realized. ]
But maybe it's just the stupid brain bug, huh.
[ And there's really nothing there except good telepathic vibrations. ]
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But saying it out loud is shining a beam of light, hot and white, on the notion of love. A word that means too many things to parse in just a single moment. He can't decide what this is: a confession or an irritated accusation. Noctis, awkward and a little unsocialized as he is, doesn't know what to do with this information.]
...Might've had something to do with it. But if you took it away, I don't think anything would change.
[Mentally, he reaches out with another question. He speaks it, too. He fidgets with the ring on his finger.]
What do you wanna do about it?
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[ She's been trying, really, all this time to make an excuse for why he could just duck out of this entire conversation. And instead he tells her it wouldn't change anything, and just wants to know-- ]
I don't want to do anything. I just want to go fuck someone else and not give a shit. But then you do stupid shit like show up in my dreams just to find out what I've got going on inside, wearing your innocent little baby face and I--
[ Never want to be more than a couple inches away from him ever again. ]
I... [ Just want to see you smile like that all the time. ] Turn into a shrieking freaked out psychobitch. Obviously.
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I just...
[He never thought twice of wanting to help her and understand her. Of being an anchor to help her sleep and breathe and function. He was born to be a sacrifice to others, so it didn't matter much to him either way; but more than that, he cares and he worries and her love is his love all the same. He gives his everything and just hopes that it's enough.]
You're not a shrieking psychobitch. [Noctis steps forward, unwilling to let anything like blame or guilt manifest.] And I just want to help you if I can. The whole fishing thing, I... [Words are slipping away from him, as they always do when he needs them the most. It's frustrating and stupid.]
I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable? But I don't regret it. [Maybe he's missing the point? He's not even sure what argument he's trying to make. Only that her love is not something that he's pushing aside. He just needs time to figure out how to integrate it into himself, if it hasn't already.] I want to see that part of you.
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[ She crosses her arms, looking up at him with childish defiance. ]
Not necessarily in that order.
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What do you think I've already been doing this whole time?
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[ Makin' people fall in love with you and shit, how absolutely indecent. But her grumbling is mild in real accusation. She's run out of protestation, the emotions building up under her skin finally spewed out. Messy, noisy, but ultimately released. She opens her mouth to say something, but then her eyes roll upwards, sighing, ]
I'm sorry for being a jerk, can we just kiss and make up now.
[ She feels like she should probably, at some point, do this with him as an actual participant of said kiss instead of just smashing on him out of total freaked out desperation. ]
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Though of course, Noctis is suddenly self-conscious all over again.]
...And I'm sorry for calling you thirty. [Glancing to the side-] And what, you mean, like, literally?
[How silly to be embarrassed, when their faces were so smashed together just moments ago, and they've just had a roundabout conversation about love.]
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[ If he was gonna be dumb and sweet and let her get away with her shit, she's gonna do it. She reaches up for him. ]
Ready? Or are you gonna combust?
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I... uh, sure. I guess.
[He fidgets with his fingers again, not knowing what to do with his hands.]
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She does not clearly remember the last time she tried to actually kiss someone. Not breathe into and taste during sex, not grab their dumb faces and smash herself on them out of terrified desperation to be anchored in a storm of unwieldy emotion. The novelty of it is slightly frightening but mostly titillating. Skin prickling, face warm. ]
( Don't chicken out now, Noctis. )
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[He is, in the way he feels flustered and won't quite look at her. At the way he's completely and utterly unsure how to react to those pecking touches at his jawline. But when her kiss finally meets him properly, he closes his eyes and lets her. His hands relax a bit, even if his shoulders do not.
It's an awkward return of a kiss (it's easier to make it feel more natural when he's irritated and acting on impulse), but it's a return nonetheless.]
(I'm not good at this.)
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Her lips part for a moment, but she's made her point. ]
You shouldn't let me get away with whatever I want.
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Still, he's overthinking; a pointless venture when no answers await him right now, and he sounds just a little breathless after she breaks the kiss.]
You... [Again, words just not coming to him as they should.] Like I could stop you.
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( Ok? )
[ Or has she pushed him too much and now shit's just gonna be weird. ]
You could, if you really tried.
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(If he thinks of Luna, it's a remembrance is one that would only prove to push him forward, not nip at his heels and chain him to the ground. Her presence is- was something gentle and encouraging, and her memory is no different. She would just smile at all of this, he's sure.)
A lazy shrug of his shoulders, looking directly at her this time.]
You've never done anything that I feel like I need to stop yet.
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We'll see about that.
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